Quinoa + Chickpea Fritters

Crapballs. I've been trying to keep up with this blog, really I have. If any of you follow me on IG, or came here from my last blog, or know me from here (is that a blast from the past, or what?!), you probably know that we've struggled with Cheech's bedtime since, I don't know, BIRTH. After almost two years of scratching our heads, trying to figure out why we had the only kid who could never manage to fall asleep before 8:30 pm, we gave up at succumbed to a 10-10:30 bedtime. This was challenging, but fine and it was manageable for us. In the past couple months, however, her bedtime has slowly been pushed back, and she wan't asleep until around midnight on most nights. This is all just to say that I've become incredibly unproductive as a result and, sadly, the first thing to suffer was this blog. Without getting too into it, we're trying to phase out naps now. She was sound asleep by 7:30 this evening, so if this can continue, I'll definitely be working on this space more often. Fingers crossed!

Anyhoo... Cheech is currently big on chickpeas, and whenever I see that my kid is obsessed with a healthy food, I try my best to add it to as many dishes as I possibly can. She's happy just eating them plain with maybe a little bit of salt sprinkled on, but that can get a little B-O-R-I-N-G for me. After using them in soups and pasta recipes, I wanted to try something new, and I remembered attempting to make gluten-free quinoa fritters for a gluten-free friend of ours a couple years back. The result was a complete failure. Without gluten to hold everything together, the fritters ended up totally falling apart as soon as they hit the hot oil in my pan. 

That experience was such a disaster, that I've spent the last two years steering clear of any type of gluten-free fritter. But then a lightbulb went off in my head. Perhaps the starchiness of a bean could do the trick! Maybe some mashed chickpeas could help bind my fritters. Well, I was wrong. Very, very wrong. I quickly realized that I was going to end up with the same fiasco on my hands, so I resorted to adding some panko to remedy the situation. It all ended up working out, but I need to give these another go because now I'm determined to make them gluten-free.

Don't get me wrong, these fritters were legit. I just wish this problem was a little easier to solve. I considered omitting the egg, but I fear they might end up too dry if I do that. I suppose I could simply consult the world wide web for the best solution, but I'm the kind of person who likes to assemble IKEA furniture without the handy directions included in the box, so I'll let you come to your own conclusions when it comes to my moronic tendencies. On that note, if any of you happen to know how to fix this dilemma, please feel free to share. 

Quinoa + Chickpea Fritters

olive oil

1/2 medium-large yellow onion, chopped

1 1/2 c. of chopped mushrooms (I used cremini/use whatever you happen to have)

2 cloves of garlic, chopped

2 large handfuls of baby spinach, roughly chopped

2 c. of cooked quinoa*

2 c. of cooked and drained chickpeas

1/2 c. of grated parmesan cheese

1 egg

1 tbsp. of chopped chives

1 tbsp. of chopped parsley

panko bread crumbs, roughly 1 c.**

salt + pepper

oil for medium-heat frying (I used walnut oil)

*I really like to toast my quinoa before cooking it. This is the absolute best quinoa-cooking tutorial, IMHO.

**Like I mentioned, I added the panko at the end to fix the recipe, so I didn't exactly measure. I'm assuming it was around 1 cup. It could have been a little more, or a little less. Once your mixture is a good consistency for forming patties that hold together, then you're good to go. 

Saute your chopped onion and mushrooms in some olive oil on medium-low heat until they start to caramelize. Add your spinach and garlic, and stir and cook until the spinach is wilted. Take your pan off of the heat, and let it cool. Using a food processor or potato masher (the latter will just take longer), grind your chickpeas into a thick and chunky paste. In a large mixing bowl, combine the quinoa, mashed chickpeas, parmesan, cooled mushroom and spinach mixture, chopped herbs, a generous amount of salt +pepper, and your egg. Bring it all together with your hands, and add the panko to help bind it. Form your mixture into little patties that are a touch smaller than your palm (I was able to get 17 total). Heat your frying oil in a shallow frying pan on medium heat. The oil is ready for frying once the fritters start to sizzle as soon as they hit the pan. Fry until golden, then flip to fry them on the other side. Make sure not to crowd your pan with fritters because it will make them harder to flip (these are delicate little guys). If you feel like they're browning too quickly, just lower your heat. Line them up on paper towels immediately after cooking to drain any excess oil. They're great served with a side salad, or just on their own with a dipping sauce of your choice. 

Tapenade Quinoa Bowl with a Fried Egg

You'll soon realize that I put eggs on just about everything. They're an excellent source of protein, and I never tire of them. With the price of meat being astronomically high (especially grass-fed, pastured, organic meat), I probably only buy and cook it at home about three times a week. Eggs are an easy and affordable substitute. 

I'm not sure how I feel about this dish overall. We were low on food but too lazy to buy groceries, so I made do as best I could. Usually that plan works out quite well, though I do get the occasional dud. With a couple easy adjustments, however, I think this recipe can be turned into a winner. For one, I'd use white quinoa, which is what I typically buy. I noticed that the red quinoa at our market was about a dollar cheaper per pound in the bulk aisle, so I thought I'd give it a shot. We don't eat a ton of quinoa, and this was my first time preparing the red variety. In flavor, I thought it was excellent, but the texture killed it. Don't misunderstand me; I appreciate the natural bite that quinoa has to it, and in no way do I want it to be mushy, but this straight up felt like I was chomping down on thousands of tiny rubber bands. Maybe I did something wrong? I assumed that the cooking method would be the same, and from the Googling I've done, that does seem to be the case. Or, maybe I just bought shitty red quinoa and that was the reason for its low price point . 

The second mistake I made was adding too much tapenade. Tapenade, which is basically a combination of olives, herbs, garlic, anchovies (which I don't always use), and olive oil, is, as you can imagine, a condiment that packs a lot of punch. It's not the kind of thing you can just make a little of, so it's easiest to make a large batch, use what you need, and store the rest in the fridge. I got a little too ambitious when I added my tapenade to my quinoa, and probably put in double what I really should have. What resulted was a pot of terribly salty quinoa, so terribly salty tiny rubber bands. Had I enjoyed the red quinoa on its own, I would have saved it by quickly cooking and adding another batch to even out the flavor, but it simply wasn't worth it to me at that point. 

The recipe I have below was written with these revisions in mind. Also note, Joe claims he liked the tiny red rubber bands, so it may just be a personal issue. 

Tapenade Quinoa Bowl with a Fried Egg

1/2 c. of dry white quinoa (or red, if you like that sort of thing)

1 c. of cauliflower florets 

3 medium carrots, chopped into sticks

1 tbsp. of tapenade (recipe below)

2 eggs

olive oil

salt + pepper

Tapenade

1 1/2 c. of pitted mixed olives

1 small clove of garlic

2 stems of fresh oregano, leaves removed and stems discarded 

1 tbsp. of fresh lemon juice

2 tbsp. of olive oil

Traditionally, tapenade is ground into a smooth paste which can easily be done by throwing all of the above ingredients into a food processor. I do also like a coarser-style tapenade, so I am happy to just throw the first three ingredients onto a butcher block and roughly chop away. Once I'm satisfied with the texture (see photo above), I toss my mixture with the lemon juice and olive oil. Tapenade will keep in an airtight container in the fridge for up to a week, especially if topped with extra olive oil. 

Toss the cauliflower and carrots with some olive oil and salt and pepper. Roast at 400º until they turn to a deep golden hue, roughly 15-20 minutes. Meanwhile, cook your quinoa according to the directions on the package. Once the quinoa is done, toss in the tapenade while it is still hot to fully incorporate the flavors. Divide your quinoa and veggies into two bowls, and top each with a fried or over easy egg.